Here goes nothing...
Dear 2018... you weren't my year. Yes, I graduated college and may have done/accomplished great things but 2018 made me STRUGGLE. I fought with my self-diagnosed BPD and depression daily. Everyday was a physical fight to get out of bed, to keep going through the motions. I didn't want to die, per say, but running away from this life and starting over was definitely in my top 3. 2018 crippled my emotions, my sense of being, my heart and soul. I started 2018 feeling ready for change, for new adventures. I ended 2018 lost, unaware of my own existence. Maybe I did this to myself...but 2018, oh yes, you were my partner in crime here and you dragged me along hitting every stick, stone, and muddy puddle on the way.
2018 - you destroyed me. I gave up on every goal I set for myself. I gave up on me. But I'm leaving that here...because 2019 is MY YEAR.
2018- stay here at midnight. I'm not giving you permission to follow me any longer. 365 days of self-torture and pity can be put to rest now. I'm not doing this any more. I have a life to live, a reason to and 2018, well, you're simply not invited to my life party.
2018 - Adios.
To the future, 2019. I welcome you with a huge smile and arms spread wide. You are going to be my year. I will be the "me" that I know is in there somewhere. I will be confident in myself, my abilities, my actions, and my feelings. I will not let others define my happiness. No, 2019, this is the year I start creating my own happiness. My own transformation. I don't need anything from you because I'm the driver now. I'm in control and I'm not backing down. 2019 - MY YEAR.
Happy New Year, all. Except you 2018, GFYS!
